He spent my youth in the “Hood” where charred remnants from the Watts riots in the 90’s still stand as scars.
Yet he’s one of the youngest Emergency doctors in Southern California.
Many single mothers with children can only concentrate on surviving day by day, as did I, wondering if the emotional and financial toil would ever end.
Yet he was the second African American resident in the twenty-five year history of UC Davis Medical School to enter the Emergency Residency program.
He’s my oldest son, Dr. Emel— the first doctor in the family.
Somewhere along my journey, I heard “Nothing good comes from the inner city.”
As one interacts with the media, shaquille o neal total net worth many would agree. There’s gang news and the constant concentrate on crime ridden neighborhoods. Statistics are cited— about-one out of fifteen African American males will end up imprisoned.
Just how did my son and countless other young African Americans escape the danger of the streets to become brilliant professionals?
Honestly, in my own early twenties I could have cared less about learning to be a mother until I became one. Staring at my tiny wiggling bundle of human potential in his crib ignited a flickering flame within me-a mother’s love burst in my own heart, quietly beckoning me to provide my son ALL I HAD to be able to make him all he could be.
I’m suggesting this story not out of arrogance, but I’m sharing with you success principles extracted out of my battle to be the very best mother possible. I’m asking you to locate your flickering flame (aka passion) in you, and to vigilantly protect and nurture it, convinced that should you add the proper ingredients to it, it will with time develop into a tamed yet wild fire that offers birth to unimaginable dreams. My son was mine.
A flickering flame cares not about poverty, your troubled past or your brokenness: it only cares that you fan it until it “takes “.It will increase your thoughts and drive your actions until your dream becomes reality.
So i’d like to share three success ingredients that nurtured my vision for my son’s success.
Belief Predicated on Evidence
Observation is a powerful tool. Fascinated with my son’s make-up, I sent plenty of time enjoying how God made him. One day it became clear he’d a pastime in science. The Discovery channel often aired shows about medicine. Clips of surgeries being performed intrigued my son while his brother and I were repulsed by such clips.
He said, “Mom, wouldn’t it be great if I could do this?”
Although my passions were different, I believed he was “wired” for science, and I developed his interest by taking him to science camps, buying interesting books and encouraging his passion. Eventually I was even able to locate a Magnet High School which emphasized the sciences and fought to obtain him in. (There was a waiting list) I must say i believed he’d do something with medicine since the evidence was observable.
An Accidental Success Team
No one achieves in a world of isolation. Instinctively, I knew this. Both sets of Grandparents displayed constant, unerring love towards my son which lent stability to his life, and also supported me. As an individual mother, my vision of success for my son was tangible although my finances were tight. Both sets of grandparents contributed to paying tuition, educational advice and providing experiences I could not.
Teachers and parents also opened my son’s world.
From the Mrs Burr, my son’s third grade teacher, reading my face one afternoon as I came to grab my son from school: I was grieving. I was going through a divorce. She insisted keeping in mind my son for the weekend. That has been one of the most memorable weeks of my son’s life. He went to see “Disney on Ice” and she took him to church. He talked about that weekend for days. Yes, there are always a FEW teachers who deeply care.
Support abounded. I can never express the deep gratitude to the numerous who regularly supported my son. They developed his skills and worldview which strengthened his confidence to achieve.
Inoculation from Fear
What threatens to snuff out our flame? Excuses.Some of our excuses are lavish and believable. They might have been around for years, and sound something such as this:
“I’m too old.”
“I need that 10,000 to start up the company.”
“I don’t have the talent to win that singing contest.”
Underneath most of our seemingly most insurmountable problems is fear: driving a car of exposing ourselves, driving a car to be vulnerable, driving a car we don’t have what it takes to reach our dream.
Well listed here is a confession. I pushed my son very hard to pay for my severe fears in early adulthood. Although I was a really ambitious person, this problem was a roadblock fully realization of my dreams. I was oftentimes paralyzed because of it, letting it snuff out my goals. So, I considered my son for fulfillment.
Over dinner, many years back, I asked my adult son, who was simply attending Xavier University, “Does the process of becoming a doctor ever cause you fear?”
His answer convinced me that my parental choices were great for him.
He said, ” I get scared mom, often. I’m doing new things constantly, and I wonder if I will fail.
But my PASSION for medicine is more intense than my insecurity, my uncertainty and my challenges!”
Rely on the spark, the flickering flame God has put into you. Fan it, nurture it. Create profitable team to emotionally support you, to keep you accountable and to help staff the areas in that you simply are weak. Be intentional in seeking help. Get comfortable with stretching into new territory. Yes, it could be fearful, but have faith along the way Do everything to aid the maturation of the gift God has placed inside you. Remember that ultimately your passion within you is not for you, but it is for the betterment of our community who’s in GREAT need of your insights, ideas and projects. Indeed, the inner city has basketball players but in addition to that there are many with professional brilliance in business, the arts, sciences and education. Believe it and pursue excellence with all of your might.